I don’t kite surf.  Ok.  I know this is a crazy concept – here I am writing an article for a kite surfing magazine and I never have, and most probably never will, be tempted to take up the sport.  However, over the past 6 years kite surfing has forced its way into my life, and I felt my experience might strike a chord with other women whose partners are addicted to the sport.

Words and experiences by Chris, Kitesurfer Lloyd’s wife

I remember the very day that we (me and the kids) lost Lloyd (my husband) to the sport.  It was 4 July 2001, a perfect summer day.  We were in Stanmer Park in Brighton having a lovely picnic with a group of friends.  Someone in the park had a flexifoil 4.5m and was flying it.  If you can,,,,, imagine the scene….. as if from a movie, there is the kite, my husband sees it and his heart misses a beat, suddenly the long grass between them comes alive with flowers and butterflies and in the sunshine he runs, slow motion, towards this fine flying specimen. They touch, and the bond between man and kite is irreversibly made. 

Six years later, kiting has become entwined in our life, part of the air we breathe, where ever we go and whatever we do.  Over this time, with 2 young children in tow, we have been searching for ways of making kiting family friendly, but it has not been easy.

Kite surfing is an all consuming passion, I have yet to meet a kiter who is not obsessed with the sport.  Lloyd finds that when he is on the water the rest of the world disappears.  Kite surfing keeps Lloyd fit and it has given him a stronger and healthier look (super!).  He appreciates and enjoys the outdoor life, even in poor weather.  He has joined a welcoming and supportive kiting community.  The only difficulty about all this is that it is addictive, and I have found that Lloyd is constantly craving his next “fix”.  I have also learnt that we the family come second to the kite and that lloyd cannot commit to any family plans until he has checked the kite surfing potential of the day.  I must admit, I prefer he does this as there is nothing more annoying than to be somewhere nice and find him looking up at the trees, checking the wind direction and knowing he would rather be on the water!

In the UK, Lloyd will normally go kiting with a friend.  However, when abroad or when no other kiters around, we do go together and I am forever amazed with the amount of effort and admin. involved. Our sessions normally go something like this:

• · Husband tosses grass into the air to confirm wind direction.

• · Using a wind gauge husband checks wind speed, thereby decision made on which kite to use.

• ·        Husband gets kite equipment, of which there is plenty, and carries it to beach.

• Pumping up kite, husband yells at wife (over wind and sea noise) to hold kite down. Meanwhile kids happily playing?

• · Husband makes innumerable marches up and down beach to set up lines, cursing any kids or dogs who get in the way.

• · Then, joy of joys, (the bit wife hates), husband lifts kite and turns it over, “Look I can hold the kite with just one finger.” husband reassures as he passes kite to wife, yet somehow when wife is holding kite, in gale force winds, it is not fingers but whole body which is required to control the beast and stop it from taking off with wife. And the kids are where?

• · Husband now walks away with bar and board “out the way kids” (gives wife a few directional hand gestures to get kite into correct position). Husband gives thumbs up for wife to release kite.

• · Wife then usually picks herself up off beach, collects up all excess equipment … oh yes … and children.

• · Whilst husband on water, wife and children look out for husband and  amuse themselves on beach .. ha….. more like seek shelter from the wind and struggle to keep the sand out of the sandwiches.

• · When husband has had enough time on the water he yells for wife to land kite, which involves husband lowering kite to the ground while wife franticly runs this way and that to catch kite and flip it over, normally accompanied by shouts and various hand gestures (no longer directional nor polite) from husband.

• · Husband then spends time packing equipment away.

Is it any wonder we would rather Lloyd goes kite surfing with a buddy than rely on us.  Much easier for us to turn up and have a look and then move on to something more sheltered and child friendly environment. 

And its not all plain sailing for Lloyd – he has had to face all sorts of obstacles, not least the wind – speed and direction not always  being favourable.  He has had to work when conditions were perfect.  He has had kit problems, lost boards, torn kites, cold temperatures, wind dropping after setting up, etc.  He has had to cope with our daughters clinging to his leg  pleading “Daddy please don’t go kiting!”. He has had to tolerate our grimaced faces “like pulling teeth” he says, as we sit on the sand-blasted beach. Not easy!

The truth is I love his kite surfing.   I have delighted in his progress and his determination to learn.  I have benefited from some time and space and from some great moods when he has returned from a good session or good holiday on the water.  I have been excited watching him jump and do tricks.  I have taken pleasure in watching the kids enthuse about their Dad’s ability “Did you see what Dad just did?”.  I have encouraged him to go, to compete, to enjoy – go for it while you can – seize the day!  I have learnt to launch and land the kite.  I have rescued kit and Lloyd from a few disasters too.  I have also learnt to keep a diary of Lloyd’s kite surfing days – this way I do not lose arguments – comments like “I never go out”, “I haven’t been on the water in weeks, months ..” ” I can’t remember the last time I went ” now get met with “I’ll just get my diary!”.

After many attempts at various locations around the world, I was convinced that kiting and family could not mix.  However, we have finally found the ultimate family/kiting location, and the good news is that it is only  7000 miles away from our home.  We are talking a beautiful island in the Caribbean.

In pursuit of his passion, we have upped sticks and relocated to the Dominican Republic.  So, as I sit here with the kids on this perfect white sandy beach, warm sun, turquoise sea, palm trees swaying and I watch my husband grinning from ear to ear, whooping all the way and my children playing happily, I do feel a sense of joy that he has found something which has given him so much pleasure and has taken all of us on a life journey we might not have otherwise taken.  I realize and accept that kiting will always be with us and already my children are asking for lessons!

Make sure to check in for the Part 2 of A Wife’s Perspective next week. ” Packing”

All photos: Private